i woke up like 12!! wow! yeah. cause i slept at 2 a.m. *sigh*
then met dum at 12.30 to pass him the shirt. after that, 1, left for TM with mum to get sister's phone. from 1+ to 3 la! it's so freaking long. anyway, came back at 4.15. then i rushed out.
i went esplanade alone. yeah. A.L.O.N.E. so anyway, i took like quite long to reach there. suddenly, feel that the way there is so freaking long. >< oh well. i walked out of esplanade to the waters there. WOW. the feeling is so different. *sigh* many things went through my mind, as many couples walked past. it's weird how people can maintain their relatioship for as long as 2 years. and mine? guess i just have to surrender to reality that i'm SERIOUSLY a horrible stead.
in this relationship, i feel i'm a horrible stead. and that you expect me to change myself for you. ok. i don't mind. but what about you? are you willing to change yourself for me? have you ever asked what i didn't like? all this while, i feel that this relationship is all about your ex. what about me? do i even exist in your small little world? or do my existence only reminds you of your ex? but i guess it no longer matters. hmms.
walked back to city hall control station alone. then went to meet sh and her stead. her stead left quite soon. then she told me, he thought i'm sad cause i see couples. -.-" ok ok. i went to collect my pay today. not alot. enough for a few more outings.
went to taka to get cake. then went back to esplanade with sh. then waited for qy, silin and mae. meanwhile, i was listening to my music. sorry, i can't help thinking of those memories. *sigh*. as soon as the rest joined us, things were getting better. miss them lots. oh, btw, HELLO MAE'S MOTHER!! *wave* yeah. heard from mae that she reads our blog. =x DON'T SCOLD HER AUNTIE. =) hahas. we put some cream on mae's face. we chatted for quite a while to update each other on our own work life. and thanks qy! for the chocolates!! haha. i'll grow fat!! hahas.
left early, to meet crystal. promised to send her home. so. yeah. i met her. and here i am, home. =)
hmms. i back to where i am. yeah. you are a great guy. you care so much for your stead and ever ready to give in. but still, things just didn't work out cause our interest and thinking clashes. thus, feelings is now a secondary piority. you done the best to prove me that you can be the best boyfriend in my life. you have given me the sweet days through this entire relationship. we managed to handle quite alot of situations. and lastly, you make me fall for you and love you like i have loved no one before. you gave me one of the most sweetest and best memory of my life. you've done all these. but too bad. 10 years from now, things will not be the way we want it to be. but still, you've given me all that you can. =) and thank you so much.
there's nothing much for me to say. i can't force you to come back to me, cause i'm not who you want me to be. no point pestering you to come back to me either. no matter how much i wanna hold on to you, i just can't. so i guess, i just have to learn to let you go.
so much for the ever lasting love story. so much for showing me forever. and so much for showing me what love is.
done blogging.
-the tears i shed will no longer mean anything to you. and all i can do now is just to watch and love you silently.-
♥ the world will turn WILD.
12:00 AM
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