Saturday, October 30, 2004
woke up damn early today.. then went bedok shop.. after that, went to school for the CO concert meeting.. i got duty.. so shitty.. >.< then later go home that time, something went wrong with me.. my whole mind only got u.. why?? i dunno lo.. i feel damn tire.. i'm tire of going steady with teachers trying to break couples up.. i'm tire of being questioned by friends about steads.. i'm tire of thinking of u day and night, crying over small matters when miracles didn't happen.. i'm tire of going crazy of u all the time.. i jux can't stop myself.. i had to tell a lie.. i lied to u for not missing you.. i lied to you for not loving you.. i jux had to do that.. i dun wanna fall deeper.. i'm loving you too deeply.. but i hurt you too much.. i can't afford to hurt ya.. haix.. feel like crying now.. >>.<< my heart damn pain.. feel like crying.. haix.. will miracles happen?
♥ the world will turn WILD.
7:13 AM
Friday, October 29, 2004
today de assembly damn touching lo.. Principle leaving us le.. so very sad lo.. haha.. after that got to take back report book.. cool mahx? i got quite good result, to me lah.. not to my teachers.. haix.. first two classes lo.. haha.. went down to prefect's room.. mummy cried lo.. poor result bahx.. then i went to look for jared kor.. he upstairs la.. wan me go up find him.. then i lazy go up.. so i stay downstairs.. then he tried to snatch my report book.. i step on his feet and hit his hand.. >.< sorwee lehx.. didn't mean to hit his hand.. think i accidentally hit his injured hand.. >.< haix.. then went for choir.. sing the SYF song.. diaox.. didn't noe wad the heck i'm singing.. after that, went to wait for minx and nana.. nana sick le.. take care kae dear dear?? haix.. tml got meeting.. shitty mahx? shitty lo.. aiyo.. sianx lehx.. i miss dear dear!!!! >.< haix.. dun think can give him happiness.. i think i'm hurting him more bahx.. haix.. sorwee worx.. SHE jux dun like us to be together.. i dun wanna spoil the image he give her.. he is an apple of HER eye.. i'm a bad ger.. bad ger can't be with good guy.. haix.. i dunno.. i wish to be with him.. but.. haix..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
6:13 AM
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
today open house rox~! sung in the PAC until 12+ bahx?? then i went walking around.. tok to jian zong lo.. so long never tok to him.. buddy~ hao xiang ni worx.. hahax.. won't be able to talk to him for the next 2 months.. jia you in wadever u do kae? got to bring this parent around.. then went to science room lo.. science lab quite boring.. the only place that keep making me yawn.. but got Mr Gui to talk to.. hahax.. =P Mr Gui rox~! hope he teach me next year.. hahax.. then brought that parent to the IT room.. his son rather interested sia.. hahax.. then i was about the close the door.. saw him walked pass.. scare me sia.. hahax.. then i keep talking to eugene.. stupid eugene, u OWE me two stepping.. u watch out.. hahax.. after that, i was a tour guide for another man.. he is gathering info for his nephew.. hahax.. then i talk to him lo.. spend my time in the science lab again.. damn bored lahx.. *argh* then i keep yawning again.. nana and minx cheat me~!!! >.< chao tease me.. =S then i talk to Mr Gui again.. then after that, brought the parent around the school.. cool yeah.. we stop at the WuShu there.. then he sae that i very good in speaking.. then sae that i should go into the service thingy.. hahax.. as if i can lahx.. hahax.. talk alot to the man.. then finally he going home, then i, minx and nana left.. hahax.. after send nana home, me and minx plus the rest went mac.. came home 6+.. baboon damn cute today.. coz after choir mahx.. i look down.. then saw him.. he saw me, then turn away.. hahax.. =P then when he going for tuition, i msg him to shoo.. after tuition, he ask me not to shoo him away.. hahax.. lame sia.. minx and nana think that i will fall for baboon.. i doubt so.. probably i'm still living in the pass and dun wish to move ahead.. saw him alot of times lo.. probably is fate or probably i jux wan to go against fate.. but i can't help it.. i feel damn helpless and useless when i see her.. i can't help crying.. he loves her and she loves him.. how can everything end jux lidat?? no way.. korx ask me to go steady?!?!?! OMG~!!! 8 years le?? i dunno lahx.. stuck with so many ppl.. i dunno.. my heart only got ya?? guess so.. i'm so tire.. haix..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
5:17 AM
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
tml open house le.. =) gonna be a busy and tire day.. this morning, still having stupid headache.. not only that, got stomach pain.. so pain.. >.< haix.. school so boring.. keep raining today.. so sianx.. read the comics.. shuang lo.. the character so sweet.. how i wish i was the girl.. she damn cute and attractive, which i can't be.. hahax.. the guy treat her so good and sweet lo.. good guys, girls dun like.. bad guys, girls will like.. haha.. nice.. higher chinese lesson so sianx.. watch this show.. the girl enter a ghost city.. >.< so scary~!!! hahax.. tml open house le~!!! so excited.. first time gonna sing in front of a crowd lehx.. hahax.. =P but it will be at least 7 hours.. will he come?? dunno lehx.. dun think so bahx.. hahax.. now having flu.. >.< so sianx lo.. these dew days very easy get sick.. think my immune system very weak.. *argh* like not sad.. tml mux bring jacket.. PAC damn cold.. hahax.. hmmx.. wad else?? shit.. head and stomach pain again.. >.< haix.. dear dear.. wo hao xiang ni worx.. how?? cannot live without u le.. >.< hahax..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
5:01 AM
Monday, October 25, 2004
today got headache.. since last night lorx.. sianx.. P.E that time still fine.. go back class start to have slight headache.. recess time, every where aching.. haix.. then got the stupid use the hand campaign.. everything ended at 12.25.. saw baboon.. muahahax.. stupid guy.. bully me, still habben forgive u yet.. hmpt~ hahax.. did the stupid HEY program.. then after that head better le.. ah gong gave me chewing gum.. hahahx.. thank u AH GONG~!!! hahax.. mummy msg me.. SHE trying to break daddy and mummy up.. >.< why??! haix.. she cried in front of daddy.. then daddy told mummy.. why?? i dun wan mummy sad sad again.. she cried non-stop again lor.. why mux they do this to her?? so meanie~!!! hmptx~!!! poor mummy.. nvm.. u got me here kae?? dun care about them.. i dun dare to accept you.. probably i dun wan to repeat my mistake again.. i jux dun dare~!! but i seriously love you.. i dun wanna follow mummy's footstep bahx.. SHE thinks i'm a baddie.. SHE dun wan me to mix with u.. i'm a meanie, a baddie.. but no matter wad, i'll still love you.. haix.. i dunno.. shitty.. headache back again.. still habben do my hey yet!! haix.. shitty.. open house jux wednesday.. will any good stuff happen?? I WAN U COME TO PAC~!!! >.< kaex.. i'm a meanie again.. u got ur own stuff.. so dun come to PAC.. haix.. my head jux sux~!!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
4:55 AM
Saturday, October 23, 2004
hahax.. muackx.. dear dear~!! i love you so much.. dun wanna leave u.. muackx.. love ya~!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:00 AM
Friday, October 22, 2004
i love this song.. and the lion sleeps tonight.. haha.. so cool.. open house coming soon~!! hahax.. today got choir for about 3 and half hour.. not so bad.. after choir went out with minx, her friend and baboon.. baboon so quiet today.. cannot blame mahx.. he not feeling well.. pray he faster recover.. =) bought jie's wallet le.. haha.. then now i'm broke!!! *argh* tml got prefect's training.. so sicko~! haix.. i realise i care for baboon alot worx.. >.< i dunno why.. jux keep wishing he is healthy and fit.. so when he is sick, i start to panick.. wad it means? i dunno.. i can't have feelings for him.. no way.. haix.. family starting to sux again.. dun feel like talking to them lahx.. a bunch of bias peeps.. whether i'm living or not, u all also dun give a damn.. wad is the point of giving birth to me? sux lo.. haix.. i'm starting to fall for u again.. will things be the same? will miracles happen again? i dunno wad to sae.. i jux love ya..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:32 AM
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
isn't it great? i pass my HCL~!! no more third failing grade!! yeahx.. hahax.. after getting the results, i immediately msg 6 ppl.. =P hahax.. cool yeahx? hahax.. my teacher was surprise.. so meanx!! hahax.. anywayx, samuel korx keep teasing me about baboon lahx.. sae us, until like we stead lidat.. *diaox* then i poke him, he turn my hand until very pain lo.. >.< told baboon i got stead.. =X hahax.. and he believe~!!! hahax.. then he ask me who is tt.. i told him i cannot sae.. hahax.. how lame can i get?? =X but he is cool to be with.. he feels comfortable with me.. geex.. i didn't expect him to sae tt.. hahax.. today he very cute worx.. =X dunno why.. can't wait to receive his msg.. *argh* today got special assembly.. then i was doing duty.. so i stop one class lo.. then i look at the sec 3s walked pass.. then i saw baboon.. he turn and looked at me.. i turn away.. normal reaction mahx.. i keep looking about for ya.. but then.. haix.. *EEEEEEEKXXXX* i'm bleeding~!!!! shitty~!! stupid mosquito bites so itchy, then scratch le, it bleed.. i'm bleeding~!! >.< pain pain worx.. ='( it is so red and swollen.. haix.. hope i get dengue.. then dun have to go school.. =X but don't worry guys.. gonna miss you all.. =P 2 weeks nia.. hahax.. T,W and baboon told me they like me.. i can't believe it.. but my heart only got one and only u~!!! -bleahx- next year, gonna work extra hard le.. gonna get good results and not gonna let anyone down.. probably due to poor results, i've been getting lots of scolding, being neglected by parents, not even getting any attention from them.. wth.. jux becoz jie broke up, u gave all the attention to her.. fine lahx~ scold me all u wan.. i leave this world, and i'll watch wad u do.. results drop only mahx.. work hard next year lahx.. no big deal.. FAMILY SUX~!! I HATE U ALL~!! BIAS PEEPS~ smallest does not mean i'm immature.. i've grown up.. but it is not u, who teach me.. is i, alone, who explore the world.. U ALL SUX~!!!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
4:44 AM
Monday, October 18, 2004
i could hear my heart breaking into pieces once again.. i let the chance go.. had a good cried today.. i failed my english.. haix.. soon, everything came rushing into my mind.. i tried to be strong, i tried to stand tall and sae i shall not cry.. but i can't.. i lost all my confidence.. i wished to be by ur side.. but the care that u want, is the care that i can't give.. the happiness that u want, is the happiness i can't give.. and the confidence that u want is the confidence i can't give either.. haix.. i can't help crying.. probably we aren't meant to be.. i don't suit u.. haix.. Miss Cheong ask me if i'm a full-time prefect.. she kinda persuade me not to be.. guess i'll turn into a full-time student.. don't ya worry.. i'll work very hard to pass.. =) haix.. i'm crying?? oh no~ haix.. tears.. tears.. why did u flow out again? haix.. loving u is so hard.. forgetting u is hard too.. so wad am i to do?? do u love me too? i dunno..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
4:11 AM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
shitx~!!! moi back hurts~!! pain lehx~!!! *sob sobx* my hand hurts too lahx~!! why all aching today?? *weird weird* woke up 7+ today.. cannot sleep.. 0.o become panda strawberry le.. stupid baboon~ sleep so late, yet no eye bags.. *jealous* mummy now so worry for jie jie.. haix.. then no one care for me.. >.< all attention on her.. but quite true.. after she broke up, she become so quiet, hardly talk to me.. miss that caring jie jie.. but at least, now she is slightly happier.. =) jie jie, i wan u to cheer up worx~! =) relationships really hurts worx.. haix.. >.< jie jie, u rox~!!! shit.. i'm still aching.. this morning, rather sad lo.. dunno wad gone into me again.. jux couldn't help crying.. i dun wish him to make the wrong choice.. so many gals out there have better conditions then me.. i dunno.. i jux can't help worrying about hurting him.. i dun wish to hurt u, nor get hurt.. haix.. thinking alot again..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
7:13 PM
so tire.. went lido to watch wimberdon.. rox manx~! anywayx.. went to school jux in time to meet with the graduating seniors.. miss jared kor kor so much.. hey korx~! gonna miss ya kae? erm.. maybelline too, jun kai, clarissa, rebecca, lay koon, ren jie.. all e best for Os~! jia youx~! anywayx, seniors rox my world.. hey meeting sux today~!! *argh* talk to baboon last night. rather surprise.. hahax.. then today woke him up.. *oops* didn't expect u to wake up in the noon either.. >.< alot of seniors seems so sad to bear apart with the teachers.. guess alot of students will miss teachers like Mr Gui, Ms Wong.. many lahx.. anyway, went to watch wimberdon(like wad i mention earlier).. then went to heeren.. pratically walk the entire orchard.. so tire~!! moi legs are aching now.. shoulders too.. >.< so tire.. i go orh orh le.. take care guys~! miss ya~!!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
6:56 AM
Friday, October 15, 2004
wad the heck~! i failed moi idiotic history.. i hate myself lahx.. shouldn't have focus so much on science and now i'm regretting~!! *argh* idiotic.. had 3 As, 1 B3 and a D7 so far.. idiot right? went for choir today.. not so bad, kinda fun.. wednesday got another practice, next friday mux come back.. haix.. went home with lilian today.. saw kor on e way home.. he heard that moi results drop.. and it was a teacher who told him.. haix.. i'm not involve in alot of prefect stuff.. i'm not.. my results drop isn't due to that.. is due to him!!! *argh* i'm so irritated.. i'm regretting.. wonder why the heck did i ever fallen in love?! haix.. i hate my life~!!! feel like crying now.. haix..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
4:39 AM
Thursday, October 14, 2004
came online early this morning.. then saw him online.. >.< hao xiang ta worx.. haix.. then he chat with me lahx.. after that talk alot of stuff.. then he had to go to school.. i went to grandma's house.. had bundung there and a peanut cracker.. then from there, i went bugis.. then went with minx, zongx, yunx and minx + yunx friends.. >.< then went to shop lo.. bought congx and peix prezzie le~!! then tot of buying him prezzie.. but dunno he will want mahx.. haix.. wad to gib him?? took neoprint today~!! then me, minx and her friends walk very long lo.. then settle down at long john silver.. later saw hao chun.. then ask him to treat me.. he dun wan.. but at least i got him to buy me something without needing to queue up.. hahahx.. reach home 6+.. tml got school.. sianx lo.. talk to him jux now.. haix.. i dunno lo.. i seems to like him.. but i dun have the courage to do so.. haix..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
6:24 AM
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
nice song yeahx? love this song alot!!! kae.. art sux totally!!! 1 hr 30 minutes dun even have enough time to colour lo.. shitty~! after tt, we have to arrange the chairs for graduation day!! prefects' job again~! after that, got 30 minutes to choir.. so me and lilian slack abit lo.. then went up jux in time for choir~!! yoohoo~!! abit sianx at first.. later we start singing lo.. keep singing and singing.. my voice kanna sunk in all their voices.. all sing so loud~!! >.<>he is the only guy i never can get over.. but wad is the point? does he ever noe? i doubt so.. i mean it takes a second to fall for a guy, but a long time forget someone.. wonder why.. love jux hurts alot.. i want to give someone happiness.. i wan the other party to feel happie with me than to feel that i'm a burden.. i dunno.. i jux feel that i won't give him any happiness.. well, i'm still waiting for the future.. would i have the feeling that a miracle would happen jux like the song? i dunno.. all i noe is: my love for u will never change.. love u forever~!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:52 AM
Monday, October 11, 2004
shitty!!! this time de EOY so hard!!! >.< dun think can go first class.. second or third probably still can make it.. hahax.. d&t can have an average pass.. math arx.. haix.. dun talk about it le.. mux buck up on art!!! *chiong* tml last day of EOY le!! can slack.. dunno if twinnie wanna go back on thursday.. but haix.. guess i'll spend my dae alone? =X hahax.. i'm crazy!!! hahax.. kaex.. yesterday minx keep persuading me for a patch.. today, renx tell me wad is really going on.. so his ex actually wan a patch, but upon noeing that i still like him, he was thinking of patching with me.. so wth.. his heart isn't with me!! i'm not his happiness.. all that i bring to him is jux saddness.. why did he still wan a patch? i really hope to see him find his true happiness than being with a girl who is so selfish(me).. i sux big time!! haix..i really love him.. but there is no love between us and we can never be the way we use to be.. i dun mind to suffer for him.. but wad is the point when i'm not even in his heart.. guess, i'll let nature take its own course..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
8:24 PM
Saturday, October 09, 2004
i dunno wad is wrong with me.. am i still thinking of u or wad? why do i even see ur face floating in my mind? and stupidly dreamt of u last night.. i dunno wad had gone into me.. i cried for u for exactly 3 whole months!! my eyes went red, i lost my appetite to eat, i felt weak for exactly 3 whole months!!! and the outcome was this!!! u nv love me before but u told me u did.. am i a toy to u or wad? i'm a plain subsitution in ur heart.. haix.. wad makes me love u? i dunno.. wad makes me willing to end my life for u? i dunno.. wad makes me cry for u?? i do not noe.. why did i go through such suffering for u?? i dunno.. i'm so stupid!! haix.. u left me in reality.. u left me in my dreams.. u left me crying alone in the corner of a room.. haix.. life sux without u!!!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
9:16 PM
so sianx.. woke up at 6.10 today.. gonna meet the rest at 7.05.. then miss tan gonna fetch us to tao nan.. we gonna have our school open house booth!! muahaha.. at first not alot of ppl lo.. cannot blame.. our school is the lousiest about the rest.. then after that, quite a number of ppl came.. so i introduce them to the HEY!!! hahax.. my best part was that.. at first, miss tan was talking to them.. then i came in, and i told them more.. some parent's weren't that interested.. then the rest quite interested lahx.. coz buddhist school mahx.. hahax.. i talk for about 2-3 hours lo.. sae until throat also pain pain.. hahax.. miss tan gave me a packet of vegetables.. it is by one secondary school.. the veg is grown by hydroponics.. hahax.. nice sia.. haha.. i so proud of it.. =P hahax.. i actually keep introducing the HEY program.. then got 2 mother very keen.. they damn cute!!! hahax.. after that, we clear the place, then i went library meet mummy, jie jie and my maid.. then went hawker centre for lunch.. then went back library.. borrowe 3 books.. really hope to get the habit of reading.. hahax.. after that, went back marine parade.. then i bought a CD.. rox manx.. hahax.. then went shop shop and we went home.. so tire.. feel like sleeping.. heyx! guess wad.. something miracle happen to me.. somehow, i xiang tong le.. well, probably it will last awhile and i'll be back into the old daes again.. hahax.. anywayx, wad is not mine.. will nv be mine.. should i be glad he was once mine? haha.. probably bahx..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
8:34 PM
Friday, October 08, 2004
probably i am stressing myself too much.. i cried today.. coz i didn't study for history.. guess i'm gonna fail.. science wasn't too bad.. still can pass bahx.. haix.. stress.. dunno izzit i find u or u find me.. but it seems that i find u more.. haix.. probably i need to relax more bahx.. haix.. stupid stress.. leave me alone lahx!!! exams yao over le, so u better dun disturb me any more!!! i wan to relax!!! haix.. boi boi today N lvl.. 2+ then go back school.. wish boi boi all the best!! boi boi jia youx!! hahax.. haix.. i saw u again.. that familiar smile on ur face.. it was a long time since i saw ur smile so true and so real.. it was today, that i knew u found ur true happiness and i was the one that cause u so much pain.. i'm sorry to cause so much trouble to u.. i won't want to trouble u anymore.. i'm sorry to waste ur time.. haix.. why am i thinking of u when i noe we are over? why am i so selfish? why did i do everything for my own needs without thinking about ur happiness? why? why am i so selfish? why did u give me a chance to be selfish? why didn't u jux tell me i'm so evil? i'm starting to hate myself.. haix.. i can't help loving himx.. why is it so hard to forget u?
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:02 AM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
dunno what happen to me.. after chinese, i feel damn down lorx.. dunno wad is wrong with me.. xiang ku, you ku bu chu.. haix.. chinese and lit paper sux!! not gonna do well in them!! *argh* so depress.. study so much yet nothing came out.. haix.. tml is science and history.. cannot let anything affect me.. but somehow, xiang ku lo.. jux think he sux!!! i hate you!!! why the hell did u enter my life?! why did u hurt me so badly?! why am i going crazy over you?! haix.. can't put all the blame on him either.. i sux too.. haix.. i hate myself.. i hate my life.. i'm a bitch!! haix.. i dunno.. i jux cannot concentrate.. haix.. jux have to take things lightly...
♥ the world will turn WILD.
2:24 AM
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
haix.. at first, i tot i'm able to get out of the past.. but somehow, i guess i can't.. guess i've been living in the past for so long, unable to get out.. feel so down, feel like crying.. each time i think of him, i can't help crying.. haix.. wad should i do? he entered my life and i can't forget the memories.. *sobx* i've gone mad.. i've lost my mind.. haix..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
4:32 AM
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
yox.. blogging here.. =P eoy starts today.. math paper 1 and geo.. stupid paper so tough.. don't think can pass.. hahax.. but mux always think positive.. so i shall think positive.. tml chinese paper 2 and lit.. hahax.. so sianx.. so many things to study.. =( yesterday, cried le.. then finally realise how stressful it is in sec 2.. buey tahan!!! last night kor kor wish me good luck lo.. actually didn't wan to reply, but jux reply lo.. dun wan care so much le.. feel so stupid lo.. cry for a person not worth my tears.. haix.. dun wan care le.. *sob sob* i'll grow up one day.. hahax.. jia youx!!!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
11:41 PM
Monday, October 04, 2004
probably it is time for me to be a sensible girl and for me to grow up.. love jux sux and hurts!!! i hate him.. somehow, i feel like bursting into tears!!! i'm over.. i'm over for good.. probably, i made a serious mistake.. so serious that there is no way for me to turn back.. why should i cry? he dun worth my tears.. it is all my fault.. yet why am i still clinging on him? i sux!! i'm a bitch!!! i'm a slut!!! i'm sux to the core!!! wad am i to do? i feel so lonely.. i'm like a turtle that is hiding in the shell.. i'm crying in there.. i feel like ending my life.. life is meaningless now.. so meaningless.. why did u do this to me? why? why? I HATE U!!!! I HATE U FOREVER!!!!
♥ the world will turn WILD.
2:30 AM
Saturday, October 02, 2004
yesterday suppose to study for geo and history.. but in the end, not feeling well.. no stength and no appetite to eat.. haix.. then today woke up with big appetite, ate the whole plate of breakfast.. haha.. but now, still in pain.. haha.. haix.. now feel like crying siax.. haix.. wonder why life cannot go on smoothly.. haix.. probably, i really mux put the past behind and move on bahx.. time for me to be a grown up, to be a sensible girl.. love jux sux.. should i hate him? or should i love him? i dunno.. it is a mistake to fall for him.. haix.. i jux hate myself.. love jux sux.. but yet, i still love him.. i wonder why.. haix..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
7:37 PM
went to ngee ann for HCL EOY today lorx.. then paper 1 quite easy.. but i think i write out of point.. paper 2 hard like crazy lorx.. do half way, hand pain, head pain.. so sleepy lorx.. haix.. then i gave me entire life up.. i decided to hand in blank paper.. haha.. =P think the teacher see my work until sian liaox.. always failing the test.. =X dui bu qi yang lao shi.. haha.. he today wear so different from tuesday and thursday.. so farnie.. haha.. after that, went TM to walk walk lo.. then head back home.. haix.. life is full of surprises.. he ask me to have confident in myself for today's test.. then i sae no miracles in life.. he said have.. haix.. how can i ever believe in miracles when the last miracle that happen was a failure? things will never be like before.. guess it is over for good.. miss him.. love him..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:32 AM
