Friday, June 30, 2006

left house at 6. manage to read through my tb before leaving for lessons. well. things really went wrong today. i waited for the bus outside sing post for 10 minutes. i was getting frustrated and i thought i was late. so i walked to the bus stop outside tanjong katong shopping mall. and my bus came. stupid. make me walk so long.

was having a terrible gastric in the bus. to keep my mind occupied, i took my chem notes to revise. how great. i started having headache. saw my junior in the bus, but she didn't see me. oh well. then i alighted and saw my ex classmate, she also never see me. never mind.

i msg my buddy to see if he reached. he was in a terrible mood as i was. so well, he came late. anyway. i kept quiet. i didn't want to piss him off any further. so i had my dinner. a gang was sitting next to my table. and this stupid guy kept walking past my table. so damn irritating. i wanted to shout and him to get lost. but i decided to keep quiet.

manage to understand the lesson today. not bad yeah? i only read through the basic and i understand! wow. manage to get most of my mcq correct. i'm not sure if it is by luck or really i understand. oh well. i was msging kor. i'm freaking bored and i had no one to msg. so i msg him. but he didn't keep my accompany. so i had to bully buddy. anyway, that cchms guy talk to him lo!! omg! they like know each other. so anyway, he said bye to him, or us or me. hahas. i didn't say bye. i'm shy k? =x

buddy walked me all the way to my maid there and waited for my dad to come. my entire family knows him. daddy even thought he was my stead. funny. i couldn't help but to laugh. we're just friends. yaps.

i'm starting to lose hopes on my oral. i really screwed up. second chance, and i screwed it up. >< anyway. tt encouraged me and consoled me. cool! the way guys console people and how girls console people are different. anyway, thanks peeps. i'm fine. only that my blue black hurts so much.

tired. eyes. gonna. close.

















let me entertain you with 2 pictures.

first one is me with glenn's NCC barriea, or however it is spelled. erms. the next one is my blue-black, which was caused by my fall yesterday. a new creation of how to fall. >< hurts!

manage to resist the temptation of coming online. which is good. hahas. wasn't really studying yesterday. oh well. school was crappy again. we were discussing a past year compo question. so were talking about tourists attractions. so we came out with this al fresco dining. and guess what si hui said? then those hawker centre without rooftop are also called al fresco dining? what crap! hahas. many of them left the class at 1.30 for oral. so we had 2 free periods cause fahmy didn't come. me, imm, eve, sh and qy did physics pract. hahas. mr g video down. hahas. it might be played in st. pats. hahas. cool. hahas. left school almost immediately. hahas.

today. i guess isn't quite a good day. so yaps. lessons were boring. i almost slept in class. went to class unprepared. mind was shut off. hahas. but chem is great. i understand. the rest. God damn. hahas. si hui ate my cookie and he started hiccupping for an entire period. hahas. funny.

anyway. left class at 1.30. oral today! hahas. i was the first and i'm really nervous. anyway. my mind was blank and i couldn't think right on the spot. so i guess i screwed up my oral the second time. shit! went hope immediately. but sh got to go back take her book. so we accompanied her. xl called me. well, i was really complaining to him about my oral. hahas. who asked him to call me the moment my oral ended. anyway, thanks for consoling me. hahas. i really have to agree with him that the teachers aren't babe. haha. anyway. my oral wasn't that long. in fact i think it is the shortest. and the teacher shook her head 3 times! omg!! i'm freaking out. sigh.

130 days to my big day. seriously, i'm in a studying mood suddenly. many things are going in my mind. yaps. in a confuse state again. damned. study!! i wanna study! was asked to go out on monday. guess i won't be. i'm going to study. yaps.

oops. =x i made an excited guy disappointed. never mind. i'll make this disappointed guy happy next week. i'll keep my promise. thanks xl, for listening to my complaints.

i'm tired of this freaking life. i hate quarrels.

right now, i wanna scream my lungs out, i wanna cry all my troubles out. i wanna be sitting alone at the beach. i want peace. i want silence. and i want a shoulder to lean on. why the heck did i screw it? damned.

i'm tired...

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

another crappy day. seriously. i think my life is getting more and more crappy. and sweeter day by day.

couldn't sleep in the night and feel so sleepy in the morning. not even half way through the day, i'm starting to doze off. hahas. just like today. my a maths teacher couldn't convince us on a certain logic. so he had to ask our physics teacher to convince us. in the end, 2 entire lessons was spent on convincing us. but, we weren't convince. hahas. well, while the teacher was thinking of ways to convince us, i close my eyes and had a good rest. hahas. anyway, felt really awake after that.

crappy parts. our chinese teacher was preparing us for the oral. so we had to say the thingy on the four is four, ten is ten thingy la. so anyway. it is si shi si, shi shi shi, shi si shi shi si, si shi shi si shi. the way yk and kk recite is so funny. anyway, ah fat manage to do it in one go. *claps* hahas. yk said shi shi shi all the way la. hahas. can't even understand what he was talking. =x
the other crappy thing is during the post-pulau semakau trip talk. hahas. edward was asking us how do we solve the problem if KRA canal is built. so qy say to convince people that the bermuda triangle moved there and it is now known as the bermuda KRA canal. how crappy is she? lols.

tomorrow will be the first batch of people to have oral. xl is nervous. hahas. shared with him my experience. well. going to take it for the second time and i still feel nervous. am i crazy or what? hahas. well, wish me all the best. =X qy manage to get the call from vj. wow. congrats to her! ^^ my dearest puay going for her audition this friday. wish her luck too. ^^ and as for me. friday is a day for CIP! hahas. i volunteered to do CIP. well, for my CIP hours as well as for the love of volunteering. guess i have to rush for tuition after that. damn.

really into studying these days. not sure if really those info will really stuck in my brain. but i hope it did. =x if not.. can go commit suicide le. hahas. 132 more days! omg!! although the number is huge, but i'm so sure, in a blink of an eye, it will be tml! hahas. okay. crapping again. ><

shit! i can't resist the temptation to come online. hmms. what can i do? shit! haha. forget it. i guess i will stop coming one day. well.. one day. hahas. that's all dudes and dudettes! hahas.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

i was given a simple question recently, by puay. but it took me damn long to reply her. and i haven't give her an answer yet. i know there is a reason for her to ask it. and, yap, she told me. seriously, i don't care. everyone has their own life. girls, who are attached, always say they are jealous when their guys hang out with other girls. i'll always say that that's their life and we have to respect it. it is easier said than done, i realise. but still, i'll try to care less. i'll respect their life, the way they respect mine. anyway, puay. thanks for your concern. ^^ i love you!! hahas..

life in school is really crappy. had photo taking today. damn funny. hahas. erms. you can imagine how tall my classmates are. i'm considered the shortest in class. in fact, the 9th shortest! damned. hahas. everyone else are so much taller. so i had to stand in the front. and the pose the photographer want us to pose is funny. so we change our pose. wow. hahas. had another dirty joke in school today. and it always starts with me! ok ok. anyway, my SS teacher was talking about swiss thingy. on don't know what canton. so i kept laughing and mae asked me why i laugh.. so i told her why is the teacher talking about tampon. then she told me is canton.. hahas. ok ok. funny. hahas.

came back home. was in the mood to study and chiong all the way. hahas. although i didn't really chiong, but it was still a fruitful day. hahas. i realise that by writing essay actually helps alot with memory work. hahas. should do that more often. hahas.

hmms. 133 days to the start of written Os and 143 more days to freedom. hahas. the more i count down, the more stress i have. mr g says that it will be so exciting to see the prelim results. omg! i think i'll faint lo. hahas. don't even dare to look at it, i guess. hahas. still havent decide which route to go to. i wanna go abroad la!! haha. night life so fun. hahas. get to stay out so late, no parents to care. but i think i won't get use to that life. hahas.

well. that's all. guess no more coming online. have to study hard. ><

Monday, June 26, 2006

i'm starting to freak myself out. hahas. 4 more days to my chinese Os. and i'm going to be the first! damned. i know it's my second time. but i screwed the first one. and i'm not going to screw this time! *determined*

school seems more fun than usual today. probably because it is the first day, so the teachers are less strict. anyway. talk about bio lesson. erms. we were supopse to do our presentation. but many of us didn't bring. yeah. i'm guilty of that! >< so, we were asked to complete one essay question. puay sat with me and she wanted to open one of my bag's pocket. i told her not to cause of the "bread". but anyway, somehow we did. hahas. so yap. yk wanted to know what is that. damn funny. hahas. erms. the teacher felt awkward. yaps. shan't elaborate any further.

had a quiet time alone today. then i started thinking about how i met many of my friends. friends like sheldon, feng yao, tedja, jz, joanna, minx, puay, potato, mae, wang boon, eve, crystal, hui kia and many other special people. somehow, they just entered into my life and made my life special. although i'm not so close with many of them now, but those memories remain.

suddenly, something tells me it is time to countdown. and i did. 134 days to Os. hahas. time to buck up. my daily goals seems to be working. yaps. hope it will change my future. ^^

i love my puay!!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

in life, we always take things for granted. and i always complained why my life is so bad and why life is so unfair. probably i should be happy for who i am and be happy with my life now.

woke up early this morning. at about 3 to watch argentina's match. only to find myself having sore eye. damned. hahas. sis sat super far away from me. and she forbid me to touch my stuff toy. >< nvm. hahas. at least she cares for me in her own special way. =)

went to NTUC at 12+ to help mum with groceries. help this mother and her son open the door thingy. anyway, the mother said thank you. and she scolded the son for not saying thank you. hmms.

came home. wanted to take a break, but mum got me to do vocab. hahas. i used to love vocabs. but somehow, i just can't remember them. hahas. forget it. i'm doing for the fun of it. =x

hmms. in 2 months time, i'll be taking back my second chinese Os cert. i really wonder what the outcome will be. the first time really freak me out. what will this time be? i can see another b4 coming. who knows? hahas.

4 more months to change my future. either i work hard or i slack. life is all about choies, isn't it? i will either be jumping with joy when i get back my results or i'll be weeping with tears of sadness. 2 choices and i hope to face it alone. i fear hugs of comfort, pats of encouragement or handshakes of congratulations. all i wanna do is to sit alone and think back what i've done.

i'm fortunate to have very supportive parents and sibling. they are the ones who understands me more than i understand myself. i'm happy to have friends who encourage me all the way. who stand by me when i'm sad and crap with me. and you. who really show me what love is. and for tolerating all my nonsense.

i'm not sure why i'm typing all these. who knows. this might just be my last day on earth? hahas. anyway. love what you hate in order to overcome them. let love fill your heart instead of hatred. love makes the world go round. ^^

^{i'm so in love with you}

that's all peeps``

Saturday, June 24, 2006

woke up damn late this morning. about 10+? started my homework at 12. did all the way to 4.30. damn proud of myself! hahas. i sat there and concentrate. all that was in my mind was how to answer the question. nothing else! hahas. finally!!

anyway. i'm down with a bad flu. erms. been 2 weeks since i last took my medicine and my condition is back to square one. hahas. guess i really rely too much on the medicine. well, what can i do? time to watch my diet. >< food!! good food!! no more!!!

hahas. puay damn cute. she spend the entire night thinking about the geo question and she can't figure out!! funny. hahas. today. she called me and she finally understand. hahas. funny. anyway, to all the girls and guys out there, PUAY IS MINE!! she is taken. sorry dude. i saw her first! hahas. don't snatch her from me, or you'll be sorry. hahas.

suddenly, i realise it's the last lap and it's time i need to close my eyes and just dash through the last round. who knows? i might just be one of the top few runners. hahas. Ch. i know i won't win you. forget it. hahas. long legs doesn't mean you'll be the first. short legs can run fast too! hahas. crap.

finally upload all my zi lian pictures on to the comp. have 3 of puay's pic. want me to post them? hahas. ah boi's pic too. but i'm not going to bully him. so i won't post that. mine? guess you won't be interested. hahas.

i'm done with blogging. take care.

Friday, June 23, 2006

i seriously think people should think so much, or maybe shouldn't care so much, about others comments. you'll only care and think so much if you are guilty. which i think, if you aren't, why care? lols.

went for a maths re-test. couldn't get a cab. and he pms-ed me again. stupid. hahas. me and puay were late. hahas. anyway, manage to do some questions. don't think can pass. really close my eyes and do it. just picking numbers in the air and put it in. haha. went home alone. freaking bored.

i spent 3 hours alone? haha. suddenly forgotten the meaning of being lonely, till today. finally, nothing much went through my mind. probably my thoughts are sorted out and i know where i should head to? lol. my fun time is up and it's time for serious work. i'll stop day-dreaming about being a tai tai for the time being. it's impossible. i know. hahas.

i feel that i spend my time quite wisely. hahas. i spent most of the time in the library reading this book second chance by danialle steel. i love her books. hahas. anyway. the book was interesting and i wanted to borrow it. but my card is full of overdue items, so i can't. forget it. i left and went out shopping. bought stuff for school. hopefully i won't finish them so fast. hahas.

met mae at 5.30. spent our time in PS for a hour or so. then we finally decided to leave for school. hahas. made a really grand entry. hahas. the lastest prefects. hahas.i couldn't really mingle with my seniors. so i stick with my class guys, mae and ted. suddenly i feel i'm not belong to the board at all. so i decided not to join the alumni. feel like having fun like what i did in primary. well, just hope i don't screw up my Os. anyway, my dinner is a sausage, 2 satays and 2 grapes. cool? i feel fat!

went home with ah boi, jordan and mae. hahas. we style ah boi's hair. hahas. cute!! hahas. ah boi's face has less pimples. hahas. funny. i guess ah boi is the senior i'm closest to. hahas. probably cause he doesn't stress me up like all the other seniors do. and i manage to take his picture!! hahas. i promise him not to show anyone. so. hahas. i shall keep that promise. hahas.

saw a cute little boy today. can't help wondering why people enjoyed their childhoods while i don't. probably a reason was because i'm a weakling. the other was probably because my parents were over-protective. staying in my condo for 9 years, and i only played my playground once. and that was last year! shit! hahas. my childhood isn't fun. well, probably in school whereby friends are there to play with me. talking back to teachers is fun. hahas. skipping lessons is exciting. but now in secondary. hahas. well. wished i could have fun again!!

^{a new story has began on 23 june 06, 1.55 p.m. what will the lesson be? beats me. hahas.}

i'm tired, i'm bored, i'm hungry.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

i know this pic is stupid. it was taken more than a year ago when i was at brunei doing OYP, part of OBS. it was the last few days of the camp. everyone was helping to pack the storage room. well. i helped. hahas. then i found a box of biscuit. so i sat at one corner and started eating. actually, i didn't like that biscuit. but after how many days of healthy food, i can't help but to eat unhealthy food. hahas. this picture is taken by kors. hahas.

i really got to agree with twinnie. a little hard work really change a person's life. none of my holidays have been this fruitful. indeed, i manage to finish many things as according to plan. and i'm really happy. however, i wasn't in the mood to study a maths in the later part of the day. but i forced myself. =x mum suggest i should study more with twinnie. maybe he will push me. hahas. she has lots of crazy ideas.

tomorrow there's party!! hahas. my nagging junior just nagged at me not to wear slippers or sandals. shoes!! omg. hahas. fine.

so fast. it's the last year in mjr. and just last year, my seniors were complaining how much they'll miss this school. i told them i won't. hahas. but i guess, ijust have to take my words back. i have lots of memories in mjr. well, equally memoriable as those in khs. hahas. friends in mjr helped me alot. and they really show me what it means by "you nan tong dang, you fu tong xiang". lols. i'm really in love with 4E. don't see the guys so quiet, they actually rocks. hahas. don't see the girls crazy, they brighten your day up. hahas. of course, lower secondary friends will still remain in my mind. not forgetting my beloved juniors. the poor little junior who keeps complaining how boring it is to do duty with me since she's in sec 1, avril. hahas. she rocks.

people do enter and leave our world so fast. and each time the enter, a story begins and it ends with a lesson learnt. many lessons have been learnt for the past 16 years. hahas. one of them is don't make empty promises if you can't keep it. hahas. interesting? lame. =x

so much for the past. what lies ahead all depends on how i'm going to create it. harvard? i guess i've dreamt too much last time. probably NTU or MUS? hahas. don't think so far. my next challenge begins now and end on the 16 of novemeber.

i'm counting down to the end of Os. i'm going to play like mad and shop till i drop! hahas. talking about shopping. how long have i not shop? hahas. a week!! a week!! omg! hahas. test tml. damn shit! -.-"

that's all peeps.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

i got chase offline yesterday by mum. =x anyway, i realise how crappy my classmates are! hahas. like that tt, he keep nudging me. funny. =x

today is a fruitful day. many things went into my mind. like what ensures that a good governance continues in singapore. hahas. good leadership, civil service and a sense of belonging to the country. shan't go into further details or people will be bored to death! hahas.

i feel that we should really treasure those around us. one day, any day, they might just leave us. by then, you'll regret not treasuring them once. i don't know what gone into my mind. but everyone that comes into our lives is someone special. treasure them. seriously.

erms. had a wonderful news this evening at 6+. ^{i've got my status!!} hahas. don't cheat me hor! hahas. but if you don't wanna admit it, forget it lo. *hmph*

well. i'm going to work towards my dreams.. =x

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

since young, i have many dreams. i always wish to see myself in that doctor cloak or maybe in one of those suit that lawyers wear. somehow, as time goes by, those dreams no longer exist.

i've lost my fighting spirit ever since i started running away from reality. i always find the easiest way out and i always tell myself i can't do it. i've lost my goals in life. i've lost things that i treasure alot. some times, i feel useless. some times, i feel that i'm not suppose to exist at all. some times, i feel like a total failure.

i've seen many people succeed. and i always wish to be like them. i know being envious is no use. but what can i do? i've seen my cousin getting her scholarship, getting into her dream university and getting everything she wants. and my sister. she gets into her dream JC and moves on into university. friends? able to go through DSA, ensuring their places. seniors? most of them are doing absolutely fine. why isn't my life like that? some times, i really wonder. i envy them. i'm jealous. but i can't do anything.

but i guess, it's my choice to choose whether i want to change my future. it all lies in my own hands. and i think it is time now.

i really hope to see myself getting into, well, MJC? if not, i'll make my way to poly. yaps. i really don't care if people look down on me. i'm not doing to care how people will treat me. cause i know, i have friends out there that i can rely on. yaps.

to you: thanks for being there for me. encouraging me and keep calling me siao. hahas. ^^

thanks peeps.




i'm really sick and tired today. slept late last night and slept with an empty stomach. don't try doing that k? erms. couldn't sleep last night. for a reason or so. my eyes were wide open. until somehow, i manage to sleep.

woke up about 9.30. got a msg from my teacher. had to go for a re-test and i wasn't told. damned. but i change the date. he was angry. i can see that. i told mum and she says she's going to talk to me when she gets home. wow? yeah. "talk".

had tuition in the morning. i wasn't in the mood. my mind was shut off and i just let her did all the work while i was busy reading comic. =x she knows me. have been like that ever since i was K2.

sometimes, i really wonder why people force others to do something they don't want to. everyone has their own choices. what rights do you have to force others to do something? you're their God? get a life and leave them alone! i hate being forced. i feel as though i have no rights to do my own stuff. THIS IS MY LIFE, MY WORLD AND MY STYLE. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, JUST GET LOST DUDE!

spent my day doing a maths. i really hope i can show others that i can do it. really. i'm really wondering where in the earth my fighting spirit went to. i've slacken alot. saying "i'll work hard" wont get me any where. well, probably ITE. then maybe i can go for the cosmetic course. =x but that's not to point! the point is that i wanna show others i can do it. but right now, i don't know where the hell i should start from. *frustrated*

hmms. that's all.

Monday, June 19, 2006

mae, silin and qy came my house today. hahas. we did our bio project. a whole mess! hahas. but we had fun. =x i spend the entire time doing the powerpoint and, of course, i was chatting online. hahas. =x the rest were doing the "seed". hahas. damn nice k? hahas. =x but they have a hard time. oops! hahas.

oh! silin lost her way to my house. hahas. mae told her to walk all the way down, and she did. when mae ask her to turn left to go to the tower, she claims she is lost. why? she went all the way to the carpark. hahas. damn funny. i had to run to my mum's room to call her. hahas.

erms.. wows. so much for fun today. tomorrow have to get down to serious work. hahas. or else mum is going to start nagging. hahas. and to think that all my friends feel that my mum rocks. i seriously think they should think twice. hahas. yeah. she rocks. but if you live with her for 16 years, you'll understand what i've been through.

remember the time when she scolded me, i was so damn pissed off. i was too young to shout back, so i decided to "li jia chu zhou".. think back, it's stupid. but i did it! hahas. i hated school so much, and i hate it when she nags at me about not studying. so i pack a small little bag. i had nothing in the bag except for my favourite stuff toy. hahas. left house without any money and i had no where to go. so i sat at the lobby for quite some time. hahas. i remember sis came down to look for me. hahas. when i saw her, i cried. hahas. funny.

anyway, i think things are different now. mum hardly care about me, cause she keeps telling me it's my future. and she really becomes more open-minded. hahas. that's why i love my mummy. hahas. i swear i'm not going to send her to old folks' home. hahas..

friday is going to be a busy day? why? hahas. i've got to go for a farewell party and rush down to parkway for tuition. all thanks to buddy. lols. never mind. hahas. last night to enjoy ma. hahas.

i miss you like crazy

Sunday, June 18, 2006

just came back from a family gathering at ALLSON hotel. hahas. we had a father's day celebration. hahas. i had to run across the road with heels! can you imagine it? hahas. damn unglam! hahas. but for the daddys' cake, we had to do it. hahas.

they were discussing about end year trip to some where. hahas. so they were asking when my Os end. 16!! hahas. damn early! hahas. good. longer break. can slack more and can find a job. hahas. =x erms. they were saying that the way my niece is treated, is the way how i was treated. erms. wow? hahas. they make her look everywhere. i really wonder why i wasn't afraid when all of them surrounded me. hahas.

then again, it reminds me of how "cute" i was. i remember the time when i sneaked into my aunt's room and tried on all her heels. haha. i walked around the house thinking i'm a model. hahas. anyway. when i went to primary, my mum gave me a comment. "normally, i'll march up to your sister's teacher and ask how is she coping with her studies. but you, i have to march down to meet your teacher and tell them why your results are so poor." -.-" that was the reason why i wanted to go triple science so badly. but, she told me recently "last time, i don't even have to meet your sister's teachers. but now, i have to meet yours." stupid!

suddenly, i wanna be a child again. whereby, i can cry, sleep, play and eat! hahas. i don't even need to worry about my studies or worry whether i'm going to fail my next class test. hahas. but, everyone just have to grow up, right? hahas.

omg!! i'm 16 years old and 16 days old. hahas. cool right? 1616. hahas. just bet with xl and the guys again. 4 guys can?! if i lose, i'll be damn broke. stupid. hahas. oh oh.. i spent an hour cutting and pasting the comic strips of ronaldinho! hahas. the comic damn cute. hahas. the way they draw it. hahas. stupid xl say he looks like horse! bad lo. hahas. anyway, catch them in newpaper. hahas. cute~

i hope my eye sight is improving. =x i haven't been wearing spects for quite long. only wear when i go out.. hahas. i'm training it. hahas. =x pray hard i can stop wearing spects. hahas. oh oh. i'm eyeing on a new heels!! hahas. although i know that i won't have the chance to wear it, but it is damn nice! hahas. =x never mind.

life is sweet at times!




memories always remain as memories

suddenly, i think back of those days when i was young. really young. lols. things are really funny back then. hahas.

i remembered when i was in kindergarden. one of my classmate was leaving. and before he left, he gave me something special. hahas. i was really shocked. but didn't say anything. and he thanked me. weird isn't it? since young, i've been hanging out with guys. so to me, it is rather normal for a girl to go out with a bunch of guys. hahas.

in primary one, we were asked to hold hands with our partner. somehow, many of them were reluctant. hahas. i remembered grabbing my partner's hand. hahas. damn funny! =x he was a quiet guy, rather messy, but quite smart. hahas. had my first crush then. oh. i remembered critising his mum and she had to call me up. hahas. then in primary 2, i had more guy friends! hahas. there is joshua(twinnie), zhi hao(boi boi), and aloysius (ATM card). hahas. i was really closed to them. hahas. they were considered my buddies. i remembered ending up in the DC with 3 of them. till now, the reason of ending up there is not very clear. hahas. primary 4, i had my second crush. hahas. he was one of the teacher's son. =x he's cute and sporty but rebellious. hahas. i was sitting in front of zhi hao and pei yu. my partner was daniel. all i could remember was this.

primary 5, i became naughty. i hardly talk to my primary 1-4 classmates. hahas. i remember a time when i was running super high fever. and i top my class for maths. i even won those in EM1. hahas. smart! haha. at that time, i knew george, sean, wong ying ying, zoe, xiu min, jane and people. hahas. but i was closer to my classmates. primary 6, i slacken alot. i talked in class, i played in class and tried to skip lessons claiming i had prefect duties. hahs. i cried after getting my PSLE results. i regreted not studying hard to get into TKSS. but, what is the point? hahas.

sec 1, i had my third crush and forth crush. hahas. i love obeying school rules then. and i won the trust of all my subject teachers. hahas. despite that, i hate school until i met mr sean lee. i love him! hahas. he makes lesson fun and he was a caring teacher. he treated his students more like friends than students. he nick-named me and mins and we nick-named him. he is called durian! hahs. but soon, he left the school and i tried contacting him. but he was no longer in S'pore. sec 2 was boring. went into depression for quite sometime, but manage to get to my dream class, triple science.

sec 3, i became naughty again. i start to disobey school rules. i ate in class, sleep, talk and sms. hahas. my results wasn't that bad in the begining. but after pressure chapter for physics, i didnt understand and i shut off. hahas. i flunk physics badly and had a scolding from all my family members. hahas.

life for me isn't boring. but i really miss those time i had in primary school. i miss joshua and zhi hao and aloy! hahas. miss me k? hahas.

memories will always remain as memories. i remember sweet ones, but not sad ones. =x

Saturday, June 17, 2006

had great time at tuition yesterday. made buddy go shopping with me. lols. he is damn bad. he asked me to buy spicy sweet to trick my fellow prefects. lols. kor was the first person that came into mind. =x hahas. have fun kor! hahas. =x then buddy made me his maid! bad right? hahas.

came home to watch the argentina's match. dude! i won again! haha. didn't bet much, so winnings wasn't that much. hahas. bet with xl on holland's match. erms. i lost. hahas. so had to treat him and kuang a drink! believe it? hahas. 2 a.m jerald called me. he told me the rest ps and him and he felt so lonely. hahas. talk to him for quite some time. i wanted to hang up, but he make me feel so bad to ps him. so i had to msg xl to go back to him, so that i can sleep. hahas. manage to catch the first 20 minutes of the mexico match. didn't feel like watching till the end cause it is damn boring. hahas.

woke up late. did a bit of revision. had my entire week well planned until mum told me i'm grounded. =( hahas. had been a really naughty girl for the entire 3 weeks. so i think it is time to get down to serious work. maybe i might have a chance to go out on friday? =x *pray hard* i wanna go out!! hahas.

met sis on my way to tuition yesterday. had fun talking to her! i really miss her. the last time i saw her was during montage. and didn't really see her for a long time cause i had to rush off for rehersals and then i had to rush home. hahas. so. yaps. i miss bomba and mummy too!! hahas. they rock! hahas. i remember i always sneak up to talk to them and i had a scolding from my prefect mistress. haha. don't give a damn now. hahas. i'm sec 4! hahas.

hmms. you know it is hard to say the word i love you to the person you like? hahas. i just realise that when i plan to tell my daddy how much i love him. hahas. i'm not close to my dad. in fact the only topic that keeps our conversation going is about studies. other than that, hardly do we talk. hahas. anyway. fathers' day is tml. tell your daddy how much you love them. hahas. i know this sounds crazy. but without them, where will you be? hahas. probably you won't even exist. and then i won't even know you! so i must thank them right? hahas. okay. i'm crapping!

take care peeps~

Friday, June 16, 2006

slept really late last night. couldn't sleep for certain reasons. manage to watch England's match for first half. crouch is really tall. =x but is yao ming taller? hmms..

last a maths lesson for the month and we are finished our syllabus today. it was kinda boring though. but manage to concentrate despite having serious flu. he lied to us about celebrating. we didn't even have a single pizza. haha. but never mind.

came home. feeling really weak. after bath i took a nap. my running nose has finally stopped! finally! =x was woken up by buddy's msg. asking me where to go for dinner. haha. and he asked me not to make him fat. =x fine. having super huge cravings for cheese fries. and he is having craving for chocolates. =x talking about that, everyone is trying to stop me from eating chocolates. =x jerald decided to encourage me to eat them. hahas. he say that is another way to stop you. hahas. whatever. =x finally understood the movie's storyline. kinda stupid though. but the guys enjoyed it. hahas.

i'm tired.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

well. i don't know what to say today. kinda had a bad day. =(

bet on germany yesterday. and i won~! hahas. so happy. hahas. although i gave up when it was 90 minutes. but miracles do happen! hahas..

woke up at 8.11. went to meet qy for school. hmms. something told me it is gonna be a bad day. yes indeed. i was surrounded by guys during a maths. they told jokes which i really couldn't get it. =x ken ask me a maths question. so i just quote fahmy's words. then fahmy ask those who didn't understand to approach me. -.-" i was blurred myself. but nvm.

rush home to change. wanted to go bugis alone to get crystal's present and something for him. yaps. but crystal came early. so i met her and made her wait for 15 minutes? hahas. then rush to cine to buy tickets. met the guys first. say yl. hahas. she went to watch movie with tai gong. =x

hate the movie! it is scary! i practically cover my eyes the entire movie! >< can't stand it! it is damn gross! and jordan can actually make the entire movie into a joke. and he keep scaring me! i really tried to distract myself. yaps. should have msg buddy. at least he will msg me through the entire movie and keep me entertain. wow! the girl look so gothic. damn gross! all the demon. xl keep throwing pop corns and i didn't even know. =x was the joke of the day. just blame me for being timid.

after the movie, we stood outside cine for a long time thinking where to go to. then xl gave me tt's hat. then i wanted to take picture. but fy took away! bad! went to coffee house for a drink. sat beside ah fat, and crystal, sl opposite me. yaps. alot of joke around. but didn't catch any. =x paid the drink and left.

met ah d. yaps. the girls were excited to meet him. well. i'm glad. but. nvm. erms. went to somerset alone. wanted to catch up with xl and kuang. but those guys walked damn fast. but the time i reach the traffic light, they were gone. =x so i went back alone.

the road home seems long. longer than usual. probably of what happened. yaps. went home. mom didn't say anything. but can see that she was rather angry. nvm. msg buddy. serious. i wanted to cry. he is always there for me when i need help. the only person that i could really rely on when i'm down. i wanted to tell him how i really felt. but i didnt. i chose to keep it to myself this time.

this is me. i'll say how i feel if i want to. like it or not, this is me. i know i've lost a close friend cause of this. and i'm losing someone else cause of this too. i just can't help it. neither can i change this bad habit of mine. and all i ask for was for you to accept this bad point of me. but it seems impossible. we are all different our own ways. and asking someone to accept your weak point, a point that they don't like, is really impossible. i won't force you.

what is love? trust? communication? faith? honesty? or just a pack of lies? it depents on how you look at it. but why does people turn love into hatred? really. i really wanna know.

i wanna cry it out. it hurts. but does it ever matter? i don't think so. probably it's just meant to be? probably it's time i should learn how to control my feelings. why did i ever fall for you? tears. tears of sadness.

really lost all my concentration to even study. i don't even feel the stress and i don't even feel as though i'm sitting a major exam. everyone is busy going through DSA. had no qualities to even think about going through DSA. well. probably i'm just fated to go poly. hmm. mum is worried about me. each time she nag at me, i'll be shouting back. damn. where did my fighting spirit go to? why am i surrendering to the fact that i'm going to fail my block tests? what is going on?!

really bad day. i'm running away from reality. why? someone tell me what is going wrong!!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

slept at 12 a.m. then ask xl to give me miss call at 3. to wake me up for the game. guess what? 2 a.m, i feel vibration. then i thought it was my alarm. so i press the supposedly off button. but somehow, it was a phone call. then that button that i press was the answer button. then i quickly hang the phone. hahas. then 3 a.m, sis on the light, off the air con, pull my blanket and pull me up. -.-"

KAKA DAMN CUTE! hahas.. his goal damn nice can? lols.. ronaldinho also cute. and the guys called him horse.. -.-" evil right? hahas. went back to bed. woke up at 8.11 a.m by sh.. hahas.. today is a bad day. woke up by phone calls! hahas.

went to school. couldn't even open my eyes properly. hahas. had to buy a cup of coffee. hahas. lessons was fine. one last chapter and we'll finish a maths syllabus. he damn excited. hahas. funny. anyway. lessons end early. had to run errands for mae. hahas. and i have free lunch!

went home, sleep and started with my work. hahas. oh oh! tml going to watch silent hill. hahas. xl damn good! he offer to cover my eyes. hahas. good right? hahas. anyway. quite alot of people going! woots! hahas. tml rushing down to cineleisure to buy tickets. hahas. while the others can take their time to go.. hahas. i'm good right? hahas. =P

i realise having stm is good. hahas. if you guys don't know. i have serious stm. =x it's not like i want to. but it just happen. hahas. i realise i forget many things. things that happen a week ago. and even some things that happen yesterday. it just disappear! >< hahas. it's good, as you tend to forget unhappy stuff easily. and everyday seems like a brand new day. however. it's bad as you tend to forget some of the happy memories too. and you forget what you learnt! then you have to keep revising and revising and revising! hahas. bad right? hahas. so is stm good? hahas.

well, about yesterday's question. i'm not sure why i ask it. just out of curiosity? hahas. i realise. love can turns to hate. and that is one part of love that i hate. =x love is wonderful and it makes the world go round. why hate? =(

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

had a maths in the morning. hahas. he wasn't happy with the way we sit. and he drop a huge hint to me that i should be sitting when i was. cause he know i won't be able to concentrate. dude. i prove him wrong. hahas. i didn't utter a single nonsense. lols. i only gossip during the break. hahas. and the rest of the time i was asking question on a maths. hahas. i'm a good girl k? hahas. at least i know when i should be serious and when it's time for playing. i'm definitely not going to put my a maths result at stake again. lols.

went to sze hui's house for project. did i mention how nice her house is? lols. i've decided to make that my dream house. lols. damn nice and big. and it looks so cosy. lols. can't stand it. hahas. feel like moving in and stay with her. hahas.. did our project. it was a crappy day. hahas. we gossip, online, chat on the phone, and of course, did our work. hahas. it was a fruitful day. hahas.

there's a walking distance to the mrt. hahas. walked pass this house. then sze hui ask us to look at the gate. i thought she was referring to the dog. but i didn't see any dogs. hahas. there i saw a pair of hands. -.-" scare me. hahas. silin's reaction damn funny. hahas. anyway, we were talking about how scare we will be if we are asked to walk down there at night. it will be so eerie! hahas.

came home, did a maths. kinda like P&C. lols. 10 choose 8? 9 choose 2. 7 choose 3. 4 choose 4. lols. fun lo. hahas. ^^

oh oh! i realise that guys who wear button shirts always look better than guys who wear t-shirts. hahas. really. hahas. i think everyone agrees. hahas.. ^^ right sh? hahas..

hmms. have you ever miss those times with ur ex? try pondering on this question.^^

Monday, June 12, 2006

i can't stand it! i mean you gave her hopes and now you took it away from her. have you ever wondered how much you will hurt her if she is to find out? don't play with others feeling if you want to make your ex jealous. it only makes them hate you more! just love who you really loves. don't hurt anyone else.

woke up by sis at 3 a.m. watch the portugal match.. -.-" then i can't wake up. hahas. had nightmare last night! dreamt i was scolded by my mum, sis, maid, cousin and vice principal!! scary can? lols. woke up at 8. did last minute homework. but didn't manage to finish. rush out to meet qy. i was almost late! hahas.

a maths was fine. hahas. he took the example of his clothes. damn lame. hahas. the entire class was laughing when he said his favourite colour was purple!! =x mae was late.. hahas. erms. quite lame la.. he damn happy that we were going to finish syllabus.. haha. funny.

after school, went home. slept and study. ^^ quite a fruitful day though.. hahas. i was memorising my notes. somehow, i stare into space. hahas. then i told myself. maybe it is time to just pack up everything and concentrate on my studies. my goals are clear now. either MJC or poly. that is my goals. i know i can do it if i put everything aside. but i can't do it. probably buddy is right. what is me without love? hahas. probably i wouldn't even exist when love doesn't exist in my life. hahas.

i'm trying hard not to be jealous. but sometimes, i can't help it. everything happens for a reason. sometimes things turns out unexpectedly. no one knows.

receive a good night msg from a friend who used to be close to me. somehow, i've lost her. then boi boi tag my blog! hahas. yaps. surprises do happen. but i hope they turn out good.

that's all dude. treasure those around you before you lose them.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

slept late last night. hahas. i was on the computer with potato and pig. then potato go bathe.. hahas. ask me wait for her to come back.. hahas.. so i wait.. slept at 12+.

woke up at 9+ today. lols. then changed and got ready to go sentosa! woots. i expected a wonderful day ahead. but things turned out differently. hahas.

reached at 11+.. then walked to siloso beach. hahas. but before we could reach, i pulled mummy to the sky ride.. hahas. damn exciting! hahas. your legs will be dangling. hahas. i was sitting between my maid and sis. hahas. both of them are scare of heights.. so my maid kept talking and sis kept very quiet. hahas. funny.. totally opposite reaction when both are afraid of heights. hahas. =x

anyways, half way up there, i took off my slippers.. i was afraid my slippers drop down. hahas. when we reach up there, i drop my slippers.. =x lucky manage to take it back.. scare the wits out of me!! hahas. then my mum laugh at me! bad right? hahas. went to the sky tower.. hahas. took lots of pictures.. hahas. some are nice, some aren't.. hahas. anyway, went up there and had a nice view. hahas. say pulau bekom. hahas. it looks nicer when you sit the ferry. hahas. omg! i miss edward. hahas. you know. he reminds me of that ITE guy, who was my group leader. hahas. shuai lo! hahas. too bad. both are taken. hahas.

okays. went to the butterfly park after that. hahas. i don't mind them being in those enclose thingy. but i mind them flying about me! >< i'm damn scare of flying things can? hahas. anyway, had a terrible time in there. hahas. after the visit there, took the return ride back to the siloso beach. hahas. going back wasn't that bad. hahas. i took off my slippers again. hahas. this time i'm smart.. i never drop it! hahas.. smart right? hahas.. ^^

on our way to the sapphire pavillion, started to rain heavily.. hahas. by the time i reach there, i was drenched. super cold! hahas. had free kfc. but it was the spicy one. and i hate that. after that, took trolley back to the terminal. then dad drive us to the pizza shop beside the butterfly park. the pizza so small, so little ingredients and it is not put in the box! stingy can?! hahas. reach home at 4+. took a bath and sleep. hahas. tml go school! hahas.

have been dropping hair.. ='( and my left wrist pain again. sians!

well. so many people asking me out! hahas. but i think i have to politely reject.. 2 weeks left to school reopen and i haven't do my work.. >< bored. hahas. well. about a month, then pig is leaving to army.. wows.

take care peeps!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

slept at 2 a.m.. sians.. hahas. woke up at 5.. then at 8.. my maid ask me go ECP with mum.. lols. i thought daddy was fetching us there. but when i realise dad isn't, i went back to bed. lols.

force to wake up at 10+.. went down to get breakfast for sis and friends. lols. i bought lots of food. hahas. then wait for maid. lols. my maid rocks! hahas. anyway, i was crapping with her. hahas. reach home, everyone of them sleeping. hahas.

after breakfast, i study SS. hahas. guai right? hahas. then i study till lunch break. hahas. after lunch, i went to sleep. hahas. sleepy~! hahas.. sleep until so shuang, sh msg me.. ask me when is father's day. hahas. then after awhile, xl msg me.. hahas. thursday going to movies with xl and gang. yaps. manage to find people to pei me.. or else i'll really cry lo. hahas. ask him to remind me to bring ear plugs. hahas. then he can help me cover my eyes. hahas. good service. hahas.

oo. yesterday, while waiting for buddy, i bought new earrings. hahas. the cirle thingy is nice. but i don't like the female sign. too small. so i change. hahas. ^^ smart right? hahas. anyway, spend alot.. and i'm still going out! sure broke for this month man! hahas.

i think my ah boi sad.. his nick is so damn sad can? =x today, ask him alot of time, he won't tell me. hmms.. sigh.. having stm is good.. i manage to forget alot of things.. that is why i'm always blogging. hahas. ^^ forgetting unhappy stuff is good. it'll make you happier. hahas..

dude. i feel happy~ ^^




okay. currently feeling crappy. lols. i think buddy had a hard time today. hahas.

left house at 6.30. then took taxi. thought i was going to be late. and guess what, i reached there at 6.40 and my buddy came late! lols. anyway, walked around parkway hoping to find something affordable for my juniors. =x sigh.. having a hard time to pick stuff. walk pass topshop and esprit. wanna go in.. but can see, cannot buy. stupid. lols. so i walk away.

went to meet buddy at 7! lols. then went to mac for dinner. hahas. he wanted to go swensen! but i'm broke. hahas. so ask him go mac. =x woops.. hahas. anyways. i couldn't finish dinner, so i pass all to him. hahas. then he scold me can? lols. bad buddy! hmph. hahas. then went for tuition. hahas. i was crapping through out the lesson. hahas. then i was talking like ang moh. then he laugh until he nearly fall off the chair. lols.. =x

i told him that there are 3 types of guys. first, guys who go out wearing casual clothes. second, guys who go out wearing cool and modern stuff. third, guys who go out wearing branded stuff and looking super high class. hahas. then he laugh.. =x okay la.. i pity buddy. hahas. got bullied by me today. first, give him my dinner. second, make him feel cold during lessons. lols. =x

oh oh. he ask me to add this: there are 2 meanings to cold feet. one is the feet is really cold. and the other is nervous... he damn crappy right? lols. never mind. got a crappy buddy, then will have another crappy buddy. lols. who ask both of us to be born on the same date. lols. ^^

sad argh!! my nike shoes not even a week then dirty!! argh! sad can? ='( sigh.. sad ar!!! hmph..

erms.. everyone is cheering.. lols.. i don't think it's because they like it.. i think because they bet on it.. lols.. mummy actually ask me to buy.. lols.. nahs.. lols.. sleepy.. >< today is a long day.. lols.. i want a long night! lols.. germany rocks! ballack rocks! klose rocks! woots

mummy pulling me to ECP tml morning. then walk back. lols. okay la.. i think i can do it. but i wanna sleep! lols.. i wonder how long since i last sleep until 11+.. i think a year ago lo.. hahas.. this year don't even have to the time to sleep to 10+.. sleep until 10+, mummy sure come in, off the air con, pull my blanket and get me out of bed.. -.-" argh! lols.

that's all dude. hope buddy reads my blog! lols.

Friday, June 09, 2006

feeling broke now. lols. sad. couldn't complain in front of qy before she starts nagging at me for keep donating. hahas. she can't afford going out with me. why? cause when people approach me and ask for donation, i start donating. not to one person but to 3 people in one day. hahas. and she can't stand that. lols.

today. everyone is so reluctant to go back school. hahas. everyone has the thought of skipping lessons! duh! 2 weeks of a maths lessons non-stop. i'm going bonkers! lols. lessons was rather boring. i was about to doze off and tong was stoning. lols. and leonad used his feet to say hello to me. haha. there was a 10 minute break. and everyone rushed out. hahas. lessons end at 10. and xl ask me to find people to watch movie on thusday. lols. scary movie some more! i can't do that. hahas. it's definitely a dare for me. hahas.

went out for lunch. had long john silver. hahas. finally manage to finish both the fish! i'm so happy! hahas. but i didn't finish my fries. so i passed on to jordan. wow. my savior. lols. after that we went to NTUC and jordan left us. hahas. i bought a bottle of baby juice. lols. then i took photo of it. hahas. glenn say i zi ai.. -.-" hahas. anyway, it taste diluted and disgusting!! eew! hahas.

meeting buddy later. going for tuition. finally touching the last chapter. hahas. can't wait to finish physics syllabus. must try to score an A for it. hahas. ^^ oh oh.. gotta buy farewell gifts for juniors. hahas.. and must spend alot on that stupid "boyfriend" of mine. lols. he's cute.. hahas. yaps. always there when i needed a shoulder. but too bad. he isn't mine. hahas. too young for me. hahas..

hmms. jie's friend coming to watch soccer! argh. i can't watch.. tonight sure sleep de.. >< sigh. having bad headache these days.. bad headaches. >< hahas. but i think is nothing much.. should be fine. hahas.

was talking to mae about my primary life. hahas. back then, we were so innocent and didn't know much about love. hahas. especially when some one says "i love you". we would really think he's just kidding. hahas. but things are different now. people think more than they should. hahas. that reminds me, i should probably change my idea of having a stead. hahas. like being more open minded? hahas. just hope he won't be a mama's boy! i dislike those kind. hahas. =x

hahas. had enough of being abit to loud. time to be gentle and more lady like. hahas. but definitely not to the extent of wearing skirts and dress! nono! hahas. heels, i don't mind. hahas. omigosh! i want to buy new heels! hahas. =x oh oh! and i got the sudden urge to keep doing maths.. hahas.. =x i'm crazy..

that's all dudes..

Thursday, June 08, 2006

reach school early again. lols. it's almost like a routine. meet qy and sh. pop into cheers if either one of us is hungry. walk to school. reach school at 7.30.. chat and wait for lessons to begin. lols.

a maths! omg! i'm starting to see numbers every where! lol. okay. had lecture today. sets. then had tutorial. which we had a binormial test. boring~! lols. i sort of have the idea on how to attempt the questions. but some how my steps are wrong.. hmm.. well. erms. another 2 lessons tml.. omg! i envy puay. she doesn't need to come to school. she flew off this afternoon.. lols. ohoh. i freak her out last night.. hahas.. =x

erms.. went to my locker to put my book.. then i was walking to the stairs when my head was spinning! omg! then i had to stop.. hahas.. mae had to hold on to me to make sure that i won't faint. hahas. okay. my head was spinning, my vision was blurred. then black out. but after awhile it was fine. hahas. i was laughing after that, then mae said my face was red. hahas..

went back to class then went for break. everyone is talking about DSA. come on. i really feel like avoiding that topic. but i can't. either poly or JC. choose one. lols. i really don't know. after the talk, i had the motivation to work hard to ensure a place in MJC. but.. i don't know. i can't stand a stressful environment. lols. hais. ><

bio lessons was bored. we split into groups to discuss our project. erms. but we didn't discuss. lols. so i was talking to the guys behind. stupid joke. hahas. okay. just blamed it on my understanding. lols. i've been tricked 3 times!! >< hahas. then i asked my friends the same question, they got it. wow? hahas. okay okay. i'm stupid. hahas. erms. so my group members were seducing each other. hahas. okay. i didn't manage to seduce any, but i tickled them. =x cause my nails are long, and i just draw circles on their knee there. and they started to giggle. it was ticklish. hahas. ^^ i'm smart.

hmm. lessons was over. head home. on the way out of school, the entire group of us were acting like guys. and we were shouting down the corridor. hahas. damn funny. erms. reach home, eat, sleep, homework, revise, slack! lols. today is rather a boring day. i miss puay! she flew off.. ='(

got a new ear piece! lols. miss my music so much!! lols. okay. xl ask me go watch silent hill. he is always trying to tease my weakness. he knows i'm scare of scary movies. and he ask me go watch that! lols. and he said he will help me cover my eyes. erms. hahas. what a good offer right? hahas. i'll consider. hahas. see if mae and the rest wanna go. hahas.

hms. thinking back about those days i had in primary. lols. when i first went out. hehes. the guys were shy and the girls were really naughty. hahas. but when we were in the cinema, everyone wished we weren't in there. hahas. the entire group of us was practically shouting in the cinema and passing stupid comments about the movie. hahas. we threw pop corn to the people in front. hahas. the entire 2 rows were our people. hahas. damn funny. then when i went out with girls only, we were looking at yan daos. crapping the entire day and critising people who really has poor fashion taste. hahas. those were the days. everyone changed. guys grew taller and more man. girls grew more feminine, except me. hahas. i seriously wonder why. even that tom boy actually put make up! lols. okay. i was laughing my head off when i saw her with make up. hahas.. i miss them.. sigh.

you know. sometimes when people say that things won't change. you really have to have doubts. time changes everything. even that junior that took the same school bus as me. his grandpa always spoil him. and he was rather small in size and looked as though he was going to fly along with the wind any minute. but just look at him now! so tall and so grown up. so fit and strong. didn't even look like the guy whom i used to know. hahas. things changed. so why people still say that feelings won't change? feelings do fade as time goes by, don't it?

why say you love me, when it doesn't seems this way anymore? why say you care, when you don't even show it? why say that you aren't like any other guys, when you act almost like them? why people lie without thinking that what they say might hurt others? so what if time heals the wound? people still get hurt time after time! i fear to fall in love again. i fear to express myself. i fear let others know that i'm weak.

as time passed, things changed, people changed. what can i say? my world is more complicated than before.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

okay. it's weird why tears just flowed out while i tried to force myself to bed again. omg! something is so wrong. lols.

woke up. met qy and waited for sh. lols. then i had cravings for bubble tea. they don't let me! bad right? lols. anyway, we were talking about our juniors who type msg with the "euu" and the "ii".. lols. according to potato, that is the act cute language. lols.. so afterall, i'm not act cute at all! hahas. cause i don't use such act cute language. lols. next year i'll come back and i'll see how the teachers are coping with these students. i think they ought to worry now. especially before it's too late. they'll regret. lols. cause even we, are having problem handling with our english paper. hahas.

i copied a maths homework! lols. at least i understand. hahas. don't ask me why i never do it yesterday. i could't concentrate. =x sigh. many things were on my mind. at least not so much for today. =S

a maths lessons was quite alright. we had matrix worksheet to do. hahas. erms. things turn bad when he started scolding us, cause he expected a much higher standard, rather than copying homework and asking people how to do at the last minute. lols. i'm guilty! i know. hahas. okay. erms. so his form class student actually answer back. hahas. everyone was shocked! erms. yaps. then the entire ava was quiet. =x

went for lecture. lols. sat beside jordan. the lecture was fine. just had a little problem understand the subcets thingy. but i think it's fine now. lols. so the entire lecture ends. and jordan said he liked sets. then so coincident, mr fahmy walked pass and looked at him. lols. damn funny. hahas. okay. so the entire 4E and 5A had to stay back for a while.

he looked rather emotional when he wanted to say what he is suppose to say. so i took out a pack of tissue. then he started his speech. he knows that we aren't really happy about the way he teaches. especially when he pms and all. and he says that we have to know that he did it all for us cause he had high expectations. erms. hahas. yap. so after that, i offer him a tissue. then he stare at me. lols. funny. everyone was laughing. so i told him he looked as though he was going to cry any minute. lols. okays. next whole week i have to go back to school! for a maths! omg! it's making me mad! lols. yap. mr fahmy knows i'm starting to go bonkers about maths. lols. i cant help it. doing maths practically everyday!

damned. i regretted hitting sheldon! his muscles are damn hard. my entire hand went red! stupid guy! lols. okay. i'm lagged. i asked him about him and his stead. then he laugh at me. and told me i'm lagging. =x they broke up 2 months ago. sorry. >< wow. so many couples broke up this year. hmms..

mum had 6 tickets for me to go sentosa~ omg~! i love her! hahas. okay. i wanna sit the cable car.. hahas. i wanna go to the underwater world and stuff lidat. just don't pull me to the beach!! lols. i had a hard time that day. i'm not going to let it happen again. hahas..

well well. so much for school. exactly a week since i had proper meals. wow? hahas. yap. wow! a week! i'm not sure if i lost any weight. but i still appear fat. and i can't stand it! hahas. well. i hope my appetite grows. why? i have been seeing nice food and i just don't have the appetite to eat them all!! omg!! hahas. i want to eat!! my maid suspects that i'm having some eating disorder. but i don't think so. hahas. yaps. i'm absolutely fine. ^^

omg! i'm in love. lols.

that's all dudes and dudettes. ciao``

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

hey dudes! lols. okay. i'm currently obsessed with she's the man. lols. that movie just rocks! lols. CHANNING!!

okays. let me officialy start off this entry with a sentence.

happiness is for us to find. you won't know the ending unless you give it a try.

well said? i guess so.

i woke up at 12.35 this morning. finding myself looking at my phone. 12.35 a.m. about 6 hours more, then i've to prepare for school. yaps. something deep down, is bothering me. i force myself back to bed. then i woke up at 4. finding myself in tears. i had a dream. and it seems so real. but somehow, something tells me this dream will come true. woke up at 6.

went to school. everyone seems so moody. =( lectures starts. boring~! lol. all the teachers were practically scolding the students for not taking down the notes. i mean. if you're going to force a student to do something she/he don't want. i doubt the student will continue to take interest in that particular subject. well. i'm not sure if others feel the same way. but to me, i will. i'll start hating the subject. =x

towards the end of the day, i've lost my concentration. i was practically playing with puay. lols. wei chang msg me during lessons. lols. yaps. he gave me belated greetings. and my stupid hong lao gong left the presents at home! argh! lols. nvm la. he is sick. shan't say him. before people start beating me. lols.

i believe everything that happens in everyone's life happen for a reason. but it is up to us how we wanna view it. we live to find a meaning for our life. it is up to us, to how we wanna add colours into our lives.. agree?

my life may be meaningless now. but i believe i'll find the meaning for living in this world soon. =) don't look down on me, dude. i'll live up to my goals.

hmms. i realise that the hardest thing to do is to see someone you love with someone else. and it takes alot of courage to wish them all the best. and even if you do, deep down inside you, you feel like crying even though you know you really want him/her back. yaps. love just hurts, doesn't it?

^{tell me what to do. i really wish the dream won't come true.}

Monday, June 05, 2006

met qy in the morning. lols. i gave her the present. can see she is still surprise. lols. don't know if it is true la. hahas. then waited for sze hui to come. lols.

lessons as usual. mae was late! lols. funny. lessons ended at 10. so 6 of us, me, mae, siling, qy, glenn and sze hui head to cathay to watch she's a man. woots! the show just rocks! oh oh! channing tatum just rocks! his pecs are just so nice. anyway. the story line of the show wasn't that predictable. and i cried! omg! lols. it's nice. omg~ lols..

after that, i head home. reach home rather late. i was in homework mood. so i finish the questions that was asked to do.. had problem doing those in the textbook. lols. then now, i'm doing english. lols. guai right?

erms.. life is indeed full of surprises. right now. i feel like a bitch. lols.

channing tatum and zac efron! omg! the hotie and the cutie in my life! hahas.

you know what? somehow, i feel that my hopes have been dashed. *sigh* just forget it! i feel bitchy now! argh!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

wow. i think i'm starting to be a pig! lols. woke up at 10.13 a.m today.

ate quite alot in the morning. lols. 2 yellow biscuits. then went ntuc with mum. aren't i an angel? ^^ but, i went to popular to get some pens. can you believe it? out of 5 black pens, only 1 can write smoothly. the rest. damn!

then started to rain. tai yang yu! stupid. hate that. hahas. so i run to ntuc. bought some crackers and drinks. so i can study! hahas. must create my dream study environment. =) hahas. then went home.

never even touch lunch. believe it?

stupid. mum is gonna bring me to see a doctor. i think she means it now.. >< omg! what if they find out that i have some kind of diease? what if they find out i got cancer? what if i'm gonna die?! omg! haha. big deal. won't it be better to leave this place? lols.

tml is qy's bday!! hehes.. hard to choose a present for her. so i pulled her to buy her own present that day. lols. abit insincere la. but really! hard to pick. lols. =x hahas. but hope she likes it la.. =x

a new day. a new aim. so what should my aim be, for tml? hmms..

omg! a day without spects just sucks! can't see anything. hahas. bump into many people though. hahas. had to say sorry.. >< sigh. oh! xl just reminded me to wash the pillow that was full of cake and sea water. lols. i did! hahas.

why me?!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

okay. sixteen and a day old. what is this? hahas. my maid told me. stupid!

i woke up really late today! about 9+. hahas. and even before i can really open my eyes wide, my mum start saying me. omg! haha. buddy msg me early in the morning. hahas. he is gonna meet me so that i can pass him his and his bro present. hahas. then i told him don't come so early, i'm still in bed. then he "smack" me can? damn bad. hmph! don't think you're older than me by few hours then can smack me hor. hahas. =)

woke up. didn't have the appetite to eat. so i started with my work. hahas. i'm good girl! hahas. did my a-maths worksheet and 2 questions from the textbook. hahas. how long have i not open my textbook? hmms.. quite long. hahas. guess binomial wasn't as hard as what i have expected. hahas. =) just love it! hahas. nCr.. lols.

met buddy at 11.30. then went cheers to buy milk. haha. yap. been a long time since i last tell him about my life. and i told him today. well. although i kept him in suspense. hahas. ^^ i love my buddy!! erms. went granny's house after that. didn't talk much there. had communication break down. =x i seriously don't understand dialect! *argh* that's why whenever people speak to me in dialect, i'll be: huhs?! hahas. it's just me. but i understand abit la. hahas. she gave me hong bak for my bday. hmms.. her touch, still filled with care and love. =) aunt and uncle talked to me about my studies. i had no comments. they are smart. hahas. before i left, i kissed granny. i love her.. =) her cheeks soft soft de.. hahas..

went to suntec with mum and maid. went kopitiam to eat! omg! i just can't stand the food there. >< no choice. i bought a plate of bee hoon, one nugget, one chicken and one luncheon meat. what i ate? only the nugget and luncheon meat. =x then mum ask me what is wrong. i told her i have no appetite. then she gonna bring me to see a doctor. she scare i have disease. come on! what disease can i have? stupid. just loss of appetite only ma. =x

while on our way to the PC fair, i pulled mum to a sale of designers clothes. hahas. guess what i bought? i bought an abercrombie & fitch jacket. lol. then went to another sale. hahas. bought a nike sports shoe and an abercrombie & fitch bag. lols. damn nice! hahas. spent about 170 bucks.. then went to PC fair. omg! damn crowded can? so many people push me and step on my feet. i wanted to slap their faces. hahas. the entire place stink! hahas. =x anyway. yaps. then i told mum that i'll wait for her outside. hahas. then i wait for about 15 minutes. then met her and took cab home. hahas. cailng wanted to ask me out. told her i can't make it today. hahas.

oh oh!! did i mention i saw a couple yesterday? okay. me and qy was queueing for famous amos. then i heard a guy's voice. when i look up, i saw a lady. then i realise she has the guy's voice la. and she was with her girl friend. then today. i saw another couple. both guys.. -.-" see about of *cough* couples. hahas.

mum had a serious talk with me. what is my aim? seriously, i don't know where i wanna go, where i wanna be. in fact, saying i wanna get 6 As is something impossible. so. where i wanna go? i told her i wanna go abroad, she told me if i work hard and get a scholarship. that was what i tried to aim for. but i know is something hard. so i gave up the hope. but now, i feel like taking up the challenge. should i? hmms.

sometimes. i feel useless.

i can't help it. i just miss you..

[cherish those before you. let them know you love them before you lose them. by then, you'll regret.]

^{pig. i <3 you}

that's all folks``

Friday, June 02, 2006

i had a wonderful time! thanks peeps.

i love my day!

woke up about 6+ with 10 messages. lols. out of 10, only aunty's msg was 12 mn.. lols. anyway, thank you.. =)

went to meet qy. then went for lessons. school is boring today. hahas. hong lao gong is back! stupid guy. shan't talk about him. jordan's back too! aww.. he came back without voice! and i think he'll be having a hard time trying to catch up with work.. nvm.. we'll help him.. =)

erms. after school, rush home lo. then rush out to meet qy. in the end, she's late. lols.. i say crystal at kembangan. then aunty in the train. lols. went to wisma to buy earrings. then famous amos. then went shop awhile lo.

went to beach!! had cake. lols. nice k? hahas. i ended up playing with my cake. poor yan kuang got pulled down. hahas. and he didn't bring extra clothes. then i smashed the cake on his cheeks. hahas. sure get pimples if he don't wash well. hahas. then wanted to pull xinglun, but stupid! he don't let me. worse! use my toy to hit the wet jordan. lols. =P

went to bathe. guess what. i'm filled with sand. that i think the entire floor of the changing room is fill with sand. hahas. erms. wanted to go home cause i'm really feeling damn sick. headache and stuff like that. sigh. took cab to kallang mrt.

i sat there until 5 trains pass. then i sit there aimlessly. then on the verge of crying lo. =(

things ended up differently. i feel so bad for screwing up both plans.. *Argh* sorry people. ><

anyway. my birthday this year is another unforgetable day. =) i just love it. i love the presents! especially qy. as long as it's from you. i'll love it! lols. the dog from potato and mummy and boon. the cup from many classmates. and the box of *ahem* from mae, san, tong and xl. hahas. oh! xl, owe you a boxers. hahas. ^pig. i love the bottle. really. =)

life can be sweet. life can be bitter. it's just how you see it. for me. i think it is sweet today. =)

oh.. i didnt eat a proper meal today. i feel like vomiting when i see food. it makes me so full that i feel like puking! argh! i ate 1 quater a slice of cake. erms.. i'm damn full!

that's all folks`` [i'm waiting for puay's msg..]

Thursday, June 01, 2006

okay. i'm officially announcing that i am sick..

school today is fun. hahas. especially in the morning. hahas. ym, tong, san and me were enjoying ourselves. hahas. until we step into class and see mdm wee scolding one group, we panic! hahas. then we redo our compo. damn funny. haha..

nothing much happen after that. until we went pulau semakau. hahas. omg!! edward is cute!! he is! he is! hahas. too bad. he's taken. hahas. and my dearest friends say till i'm so in love with him. hahas. especially when they saw the ring. they went: AWWWW! he is taken.. don't be sad.. -.-" hahas. okay la. not so bad.

the island is nice! beautiful. hahas. i love it. too bad. we didn't manage to see dolphins. not our luck. hahas. i just realise that my class is crappy in a cute way! hahas. stupid xl~! argh! hahas.. i knew he isn't up to something good when he wanted to shake hands with me. i knew it! hahas. anyway. yk manage to pick up my pen when i lost it when puay was playing with me. hahas. wow. hahas. he is kind k? hahas. and kkkk. hahas. the way he say "meh" so funny!! hahas. i can't help laughing.. =x 4E just rocks. i love them. ^^

tml is 2nd june. my day and my buddies day. =) i feel excited on one hand, and not excited on the other hand. hahas. but yap. i'm sick. i'm sick on the eve of my birthday!! damn it. argh!! half the class is planning to celebrate it for me and qy. hahas. coz our birhtdays are close. but somehow, i feel i might not be able to go. i'm feeling terrible. ><

maid told mum then she should get me more vitamins. omg! hahas. why? haven't been eating properly. feel like vomiting after my meals these days. really don't know why. guess my tummy is weak again. yaps. never mind. small matter. what for make it into such a big fuss? just give me a break.

hms. life seems great on the outside. but not on the inside. why? how does it feel when you're crying for no reason? my heart feels lonely. no matter how happy i try to be. i'm feeling terrible inside. deep inside, i feel like crying. i guess, i don't belong here any more.

life. is just like that. just have to face reality.

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