since young, i have many dreams. i always wish to see myself in that doctor cloak or maybe in one of those suit that lawyers wear. somehow, as time goes by, those dreams no longer exist.
i've lost my fighting spirit ever since i started running away from reality. i always find the easiest way out and i always tell myself i can't do it. i've lost my goals in life. i've lost things that i treasure alot. some times, i feel useless. some times, i feel that i'm not suppose to exist at all. some times, i feel like a total failure.
i've seen many people succeed. and i always wish to be like them. i know being envious is no use. but what can i do? i've seen my cousin getting her scholarship, getting into her dream university and getting everything she wants. and my sister. she gets into her dream JC and moves on into university. friends? able to go through DSA, ensuring their places. seniors? most of them are doing absolutely fine. why isn't my life like that? some times, i really wonder. i envy them. i'm jealous. but i can't do anything.
but i guess, it's my choice to choose whether i want to change my future. it all lies in my own hands. and i think it is time now.
i really hope to see myself getting into, well, MJC? if not, i'll make my way to poly. yaps. i really don't care if people look down on me. i'm not doing to care how people will treat me. cause i know, i have friends out there that i can rely on. yaps.
to you: thanks for being there for me. encouraging me and keep calling me siao. hahas. ^^
thanks peeps.
♥ the world will turn WILD.
10:48 PM
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