had a farnie dream last night.. chao dreamt i hugged japan!! i dreamt i was feeling very down, i did't know wad to do and i was at my dead wits.. so i msg him and ask him to meet me at the d&t block, and i hugged him!!! so weird dream!!! *argh* i woke up blushing lahx.. so stupid!!! anywayx, today's bag was light.. had science and music lessons.. then i head to TKGS.. taiwan keep nagging at us.. so i had to called him daddy instead of kor kor.. haha.. TKGS prefect investiture was cool manx~!!! the dance was so cool~!! guess wad.. the ex head prefect said "don't judge the head prefect by her height".. so farnie.. anywayx, the presentation of the times they had were very nice.. so sweet.. i was so touched.. started getting very emotional from then on.. we toured round the school.. saw this prefect from another school.. he is so cute~!! didn't get to know him in the end.. =( anywayx.. the prefects there are friendly.. saw my ex classmate.. she is still the same.. cute, sweet and lovely.. =) i head back to school with alex.. help abit with the prefect noticeboard.. haix.. didn't had much mood towards the end.. i start feeling so down, so sad, so tired.. so sick of life.. about the go home, then jared kor kor ask me go to him... then he ask me to take things easy.. caring kor horx? i told him i was fine( though i didn't sounds as if i did).. i had many things going in my mind.. i didn't had any way to find an answer to them.. i feel life is really challenging.. i felt so determined to let him go.. but when i finally succeed, God made me have false hopes again.. then, i tried to hard to accept someone, but yet, i gave up.. i hate myself for everything.. i hate myself for forcing myself into this situation.. i felt like having a shoulder there, but who would it be? i need him so much, but yet i feel that i'm a burden to him.. loving him is so hard and forgetting him is harder.. when can i ever get an answer to my questions? when will God let me go? i'm wondering..
♥ the world will turn WILD.
5:45 AM
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